For some time ago, I realized I had lost a lot of self-confidence. After two pregnancies, cancer, depression and the fight to come back - I feel drained. My self-confidence has never been about the way I look, or what people think about me, but in my work, and I realized I had lost faith in myself. And I got angry, on myself, my husband, my kids, and my friends because I didn´t feel good enough. I therefor took the active decision with my husband to take six months, until hopeful I have gotten two more clean scans and no elevation in my tumor marker, where I can do 100% what makes me happy, exercise, writing, working with charity and fashion. And then hopefully I will be able to find myself again through that. And one of the things I really wanna work on is female empowerment and maybe even inspire people to be a bit nicer to themself.
One thing however there is stronger than ever is my self-esteem, I feel I have survived so much, and even if my body is scared and bit tired (:)) - And I made my peace with that I will never be a 170cm tall slim Swedish model:)
These 3 photos are all from my DOVE campaign shoot, the first photo is the one their is being used for the campaigns. Some of my friends, told me almost instantly that they know I look slimmer from other angles. But thats exactly why I love this campaign. The campaign celebrates women how we are, and we are not more beautiful from one angle in the correct light. My body has been through total 13 surgeries in my life, and this is how it looks with scars and all. Is strong and I feel healthy and better than I have done for years.
Maybe not my best angle seen from a majority´s point of view, but this body can do almost everything I tell it to!:)
Better angle? But does that make me to a better person?
I meet a lot of people, but especially women, who are so extremely hard on themselves - even the way they talk about themselves are devasting. They expect so much of themselves and use all opportunities to judge themselves harshly. I spoke with some friends yesterday, how we as a society have come to that? About how perfect we should look and how much we should be able to achieve?
Don´t take me wrong; I believe that we should feed ambitions and health, but not at the price of women tormenting themselves, not to be able to live up to all the pressure, we constantly are being fed with.