Yesterday I spoke about finding myself after 4 draining years of treatments and surgeries.
One of the hardest things for many independent women is to accept our own limitations, to accept that we are not as strong as we were, we get older, weaker and is ok not to be able to do everything.
Just after my third neck surgery for 12 months ago. My doctor forces me to leave the bed 6 hours after surgery, and walk the stairs one day after...
For some time ago, I was exercising, and one of the girls, whom we all see as a superwomen had some problems, so she had to take a break. When she sad there by herself, I noticed her face there is normally this beautiful smiley one, was almost twisted in anger, not anger to us, but to herself. The pain of defeat and limitations. - I know that feeling very well, and I felt the pain with her.
We women love to tell each other to love ourselves, but we are so incredible bad at listening to our own advice. Instead of following them, we almost use them as guidelines to judge ourselves even harder.
I been thinking a lot about that, it is so puzzeling for me, how women, whom I admire deeply can be that rough on themselves.
To my 39 years old birthday, I´m red and swollen from Radiation beams, but I wanted to wear a silk dress which did´t hide anything. I don´t want people to feel pity or bad while seeing me, but I don´t want them not to see either. The women I´m with Is Regina the founder of MOAS, who is probably the toughest women I have ever met. And a tremendous inspiration.
Quite a lot of people ask me how I do it, being strong in my weakest moments. So I have tried to list some of the things that I do. Obviously we are all diffrent but maybe you can use one or two?
1. Don´t talk negative about yourself, and if you can even give yourself a compliment here and there. There is a diffrent between loving yourself, and bragging to get attention:)
2. Don´t collect bad energy and people. Some people are just not good for you. Not because they are bad people, but they for some reason just make you feel bad. Avoid it and them. Don´t be rude, but accept you need positive energy to be your best. Collect the good ones:)
3. Make small goals, and celebrate when you accomplish them, everything for cleaning your wardrobe, walk that extra mile, work on that project etc etc
4. Surround yourself with colours, it does make your happier
5. Accept that your house can be a bit messier, you are not a bad person, wife or mum because your house is not shinny.
6. List 10 things you wanna do, and try to do one every month (or more often if you can)
7. Don´t hold a grudge - You life is not getting better, being angry at someone else.
8. Don´t go to events or say yes to events because you feel you have to. Of. there is some family events there is hard to avoid, but a lot of social events have almost become a duty, don´t! Save your energy and be 100% to the events you choose
9. Be to the world how you want the world to be to you. Help, be kind and do things without expecting getting anything bad, and don´t get upset if the friends you help, don´t help you back. Because then your helping for the wrong reasons. But in the other hand, don´t accept help if you know, your are not willing to help.
10. No one got better, feeling sorry for themself.