My voice are slowly beginning to disappear again, they told me it could happend. One of my vocal cord got damaged during my second neck surgery, and it was hard for me to talk. During radiation I got so many internal swellings, so it was possible for me to talk, and now when the swelling goes down, so do my voice.
I wrote this originally 12 month ago, when I was in London for my treatments.
When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer everyone including my doctor told me its the good cancer. The fatality rate is fairly low. Then when I was diagnosed with rai-resistant thyroid cancer, it was alittle bit more ok to take it serious. I still meet people thou, who ask what kind of cancer I have, and then when I tell them, they are so relived, because they have a family member who had, and just a couple of treatments they are good again! Believe me, is never that easy. The side effects, fear for relaps, the constant feeling of being jetlagged. However I have learned that most people with thyroid cancer, likes to make it less, simple because it make's it easier for themself and people around them.
16 tumours, 5 surgeries, 2 radioactive iodine treatment plus now beam radiation after (since Oct/nov 2013). I can tell you for sure: There is not such a thing as Good cancer! I have lost 207 days with my children there is now 3 and 5 years old. They have been forced to live without their mum for long periods of time. They have acted out, disconnected and reconnected.
Even if I survive this. They will always have a sick mum. They will always have to worry. This is by far the worst thing for me. Last year I tried to distant myself from them, so they would be closer to my husband than me. So they stop calling for me. I succeeded, now they need him more. When they wake up in night, they call for daddy not for mummy anymore. They always trust daddy to be there, not mummy! It's ok thats how it has to be for now.
This is not a pity post! I'm enjoying London as best as I can, meeting friends and getting spoiled. But don't you ever tell me, I have the good cancer - Or to anyone else who is being diagnosed with a disease. Just because people don't die right away or look sick, is it still be very very hard, with sacrifices there is impossible to grasp.